A Stardust Melody
by The Valiant Child
Summary: She lifts a hand to fix his bowtie and with a cheeky smile declares that even though it's slightly singed, it's a "nice bowtie," and he immediately thinks that he loves Rose Tyler. She's just so brilliant and smart and funny and kind and compassionate and beautiful and wonderful that even her horribly burnt cupcakes are the best in the world and he would be utterly lost without her
1. Rose

**_Part one: Rose_**

**_by The Valiant Child_**

* * *

_How the heart bends, _

_And summer she sends _

_A sky that refuses to die._

_With weeds of the sea _

_That wrap round our knees, _

_And a sun too hot to go down._

_You come around, you come around,_

_You come around, you come around._

**_~Stars: What the Snowman Learned About Love_**

* * *

He is supposed to be blowing up the place, but how can he possibly let all these gorgeous hats burn to ashes? They call out for help, he feels. They call out for him to rescue them and take them away with him to see the stars. Especially that handsome red fez. He can just tell that they are meant to be. And you don't just burn your soul mate, just because you can't spare a moment to delay an impending explosion. The Autons can wait, he convinces himself; his fez beacons him.

He hears her before he sees her, the wandering sole human in the building. She's calling for someone named "Wilson" and ends up being surrounded by the Autons. That's his cue, he decides. Saving the universe, being sentenced to execution, running and saving damsels in distress, that's his job, after all.

He takes her hand and grins brilliantly, and for a second he sees a world of potential in her, but then he's said the magic word ("Run!") and they're hurtling through the corridors and all they can feel is the adrenaline.

Her name is Rose, she says and he immediately likes the sound of it. But there isn't much time to stay and chat. There's a building to blow.

It is only later, after she's long gone and he's making his way to the TARDIS that he's noticed that he's forgotten his lovely fez. His fez that is now no more, left where it was, in the basement of Henrick's.

He starts to pout but remembers the new pink and yellow attraction and he doesn't mind the fiery demise of his new soul mate. Maybe the fez wasn't "The One" after all.

Sure enough, after another day of running, chasing, more running and finding the pink human from the other night and then running some more and finally saving the world by defeating the alien threat (just another day's work of course...although, she's the one who'd done the "saving the world by defeating the alien threat" part...oh well, same difference) that he starts wondering if he should invite her with him. He hasn't done that in a while though so he prolongs the asking for as long as he can.

But when she lifts a hand to straighten his bowtie and with a cheeky smile declares that even though it's slightly singed, it's a "nice bowtie," he immediately thinks that he might just love Rose Tyler.

Er...like. LIKE Rose Tyler.

So, of course there was only one thing to be done...

"You could come with me...?"

She does. Though, not immediately. He has to ask a second time. He's never done that before. But he's seen a lot in all his years and he knows that some things are worth fighting for, and his pink and yellow human is one of them.

Oh, did he say "his"? He didn't mean his. She's not _his_. No, of course not. They've only just met!

...give it some time.

* * *

And he does.

They travel to the future, and then to the past and back to the present (when he gets slapped by her mother), and then again to the future (where she picks up a pretty boy whom he wishes he could throw out of the airlock) and then they dump him off after another adventure when he proves that he doesn't deserve the opportunity of time and space travel (something which the Doctor had known all along, but you try resisting the pleading look in Rose's hazel eyes and see how that works out).

They go back to the past again after that. To 1987, 7th of November, the day Pete Tyler died, and that adventure ends up an even bigger mess than the splattered cake batter in the TARDIS kitchen walls from that time the Doctor and Rose tried to bake.

She messes up, they fight, he gets eaten by a Reaper and comes back in time to see her father get hit and run over.

He's unsure how to deal with the unrelenting waterworks display after they go back to the TARDIS, so he merely hugs her without saying anything because he doesn't know what to say. She doesn't mind though; and later, they make themselves tea and blow up the toaster, then fly off for another adventure.

He thinks that he might definitely be in love with her now. It's been long enough, and he just doesn't know how he'll ever cope without her. She's just so brilliant and smart and funny and kind and compassionate and beautiful and wonderful and adventurous and just so very...human!

In the weeks to come, they go back into the same routine: saving words, enraging local authorities, running from things with multiple limbs and bad breath, being incarcerated, breaking out, forming last minute escape plans and foiling nefarious plots by evil aliens with some duct tape and a banana.

And most importantly, falling more and more in love.

He buys a fez at one point and glows like the sun when she tells him that it makes him look "cute". Well, her actual words are that he looks "cute...but slightly weird". He doesn't care though. Nobody can rain on his parade.

* * *

That is, until a certain Captain Jack Harkness.

Oh, how his jealousy grows. And in a fit he goes as far as to declare that he can dance. He can't. He could once. Not in this regeneration though. It's all tripping and embarrassing gyrating motions this time around but she doesn't mind. She's not any better either. Or maybe, she's just faking it for his sake. He can't really tell but he loves her for it anyway.

A week later, they're in Hop, running for their lives with a naked Captain Jack Harkness. No one is surprised though. It's only surprising when he _isn't _naked. They hop, skip and trip all the way to the TARDIS and fall down laughing on the floor. Well, _he_ falls down laughing on the floor. Jack doesn't have bad motor skills. Rose, however, trips as well. Though not onto the floor, but on top of him. He doesn't mind one bit. Rose doesn't either because she's still laughing.

"You two are so sweet," Jack comments as he always does.

"I know," the Doctor says with a smirk and she hits him playfully but doesn't get up. He's not one to complain but then Jack throws himself on top of them, declaring that if there is to be further floor hugging, he wants in on the action as well.

They break away after that and race to the kitchen for some tea and Jammie Dodgers...and maybe a banana or two. Bananas are good.

"Get married," Jack suggests.

"We already are," they answer.

Jack chokes on his tea.

They then proceed to explain how one time they accidentally got married in this planet called Voicha while running from a dinosaur type thing.

_(It's called a Blaarcheesh, Rose. Not a dinosaur type thing. Dinosaur-type-thing is not a very cool name. Blaarcheesh, on the other hand, is.)_

However, the ritual involving the marriage (crossing a river holding hands and being blessed by the local god or in other words being almost trampled by a Blaarcheesh) is only applicable to that region. In other words, they are not really married. Only just a little bit. Around 12 percent married.

_(And even so, Rose, you are never ever to tell your mother of this.)_

Jack sighs and tells them they should be more than just 12 percent married.

The Doctor and Rose just blush and change the topic.

* * *

A month passes with more shenanigans and occasional visits to Jackie. The Doctor thinks that she might have warmed up to him a bit. The thought is both comforting and revolting at the same time. She definitely likes Jack though.

In one such visit, they end up paying hide and seek while Jackie is out shopping for dinner. Jack wants it to be naked hide and seek but then again, he wants everything to be naked. They play it the normal way and the disappointed Captain goes forth to find the giggling Time Lord and his equally loud companion after counting to hundred.

Much to his surprise they are extremely good at it. Too good. And before he can find them, Jackie is back. It takes him another hour and Jack smiles when he finds his friends fast asleep inside the closet, huddled close with their heads pressed together. Jackie just sighs exasperatedly and covers the two with a blanket so that they don't get cold.

They have to be woken up for dinner and the Doctor and Rose find that they have both drooled on each other. Rose giggles as she washes her face. The Doctor joins her.

Jack wishes that they'd be married more than just 12 percent married.

The Doctor and Rose secretly wish the same.

* * *

He knows that what they have is too good to last. He's known all along but kept running from it. However, you can only run so far and the world catches up soon enough. And just like that so do the words: _Bad Wolf._

He only sees the name of the Corporation in the Game Station after he sends her back home. Oh, to lose her, find her and then lose her again. But he had to do it. He couldn't let her die. She needs to live the fantastic life that she deserves. And it's not like he'll have to spend long without her. He'll die here anyway.

The delta wave is complete when the Daleks come for him. Jack is dead. He's the only one left. Left on his own to be the executioner again.

But he can't do it. Not after Gallifrey. So, he closes his eyes and waits for the pain and the darkness. But it doesn't come. Instead the TARDIS's grating noise of materialisation greets his ears and he sees her. For a moment, he believes that it's just a hallucination of a dying man but then she's standing by his side, no longer pink and yellow but bathed in a glow of gold that swirls protectively around her.

_"I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself."_

Come to save him again...she's never been a "damsel in distress," he realises; it's always been he.

_"I want you safe, my Doctor."_

But she's burning...and it's his fault. He pleads her to let go. He can't lose her. He'll never survive without her.

_"But how can I let go? I bring life."_

He can tell that she's done something wrong. He pleads again. _Please. Please. Please. Please. Let go._

_"I can't. I haven't found you yet."_

He doesn't understand. He's right here. She shakes her head, closes her eyes and the gold swirling around her envelopes her entire being and she's gone. He stares at the empty spot for a full minute before snapping up and running inside the TARDIS. He has to find her.

He decides to start at the Powell Estate even though he thinks that he won't find her there. He has to start _somewhere_.

When he opens the door and steps out of the TARDIS he immediately sees her. She's just as shocked to see him and that renders them both immobile for a moment. It isn't a long moment though and almost simultaneously they run towards each other, splitting smiles in each of their faces. They collide into each other and he wraps his arms around her without a second's waste. Her grip on him is just as tight. They're laughing and crying at the same time.

"You came back," she whispers against his chest.

"Of course I came back," he says.

She pulls away and slaps him.

"What was that for?" he screeches.

"You sent me back!" she accuses.

"And you absorbed the bloody the time vortex!" he shoots back.

"What?"

It is then that he notices this Rose's timeline is slightly different from that of the Rose who had come to save him.

"Oh," he wheezes.

"What?" she asks gently.

He looks at her and relief and sadness at the same time. She's safe for now. She's safe. But for how long? Because somewhere out there there's a Rose who's burning up for him. And he, in his future, without a doubt is looking for her but what if he doesn't find her in time? What if she's gone and he's left alone again.

He can't imagine what he's to do then. Especially without having her ever know how special she is and how much he needs her.

"Doctor?" she asks again, laying a hand on his bruised cheek.

She needs to know. She needs to know how much she means to him, how her smile makes him smile, how he loves holding her hand, how even her fantastically irreparable burnt cupcakes are the best, how she always says the right things, how everyday he becomes a little less lonely with her beside him, how wonderfully brilliant she is and how much he loves her.

So he cups her face and leans down and kisses her.

Because she might be safe now and they will run again but not forever and she needs to know how important she is before the universe catches up again.

She kisses him back and he knows that he was right that day when they'd first met: that fez wasn't "The One."

* * *

**A/N: I'm experimenting with writing in present tense and this is what I came up with. The plot kind of started forming around a phrase I found while reading another Doctor/Rose fanfiction. Anyway, this little fic will be divided into four parts. So, keep a lookout for the other three if you liked this part.**

**Oh, and to the readers of ****_They Dream of the Stars_****, I'm terribly sorry for starting a new fic before finishing the other one but this plot just wouldn't let go. It begged and nagged and screamed to be written and I, sadly am a hopeless slave to my muse's every whim. I had no choice.**

**I would very much appreciate any feedback. Let me know if I've done anything wrong so I can correct my mistakes. See you next chapter. :)**


	2. Paper Crowns

**_Part Two: Paper Crowns_**

**_by The Valiant Child_**

* * *

_Well I woke up today_

_And the world was a restless place_

_It could have been that way for me_

_And I wandered around_

_And I thought of your face_

_That Christmas looking back at me_

_I wish today was just like every other day_

_'Cause today has been the best day_

_Everything I ever dreamed_

_And I started to walk_

_Pretty soon I will run_

_And I'll come running back to you_

_'Cause I followed my star_

_And that's what you are_

_I've had a merry time with you_

* * *

He thinks that she's all he has.

Then, on a Christmas day, surrounded by unexpected friends with a red paper crown on his head, he realises that he may be wrong. She's given him a family; made him a part of hers.

His grin doesn't falter once that day. Only stretches whenever she's close.

When he kisses her under the mistletoe, he's surprised that Jackie doesn't slap him but is smiling instead. Rose is blushing. He likes that so he kisses her again. Her pink paper crown slides off to the floor. He's never had a better day than this.

* * *

He takes her to New Earth and ends up developing a dislike for cats. So they go to Barcelona next. The planet, not the city. They have noseless dogs there. Noseless dogs are cool.

But of course, them being the Doctor and Rose, they find trouble there as well. It would be unnatural otherwise. There's even more trouble at the next stop, and the next, and the next. In fact, their quietest day in the entire month is the accidental visit to 1879, instead of 1979 where they meet Queen Victoria and a werewolf instead of Ian Dury and the Blockheads. Or at least, they think it's the quietest day, being unaware of the repercussions of their actions.

He gets sick once. It's like the Common Cold but directed at two-hearted races. He insists that he's fine and dandy; all the while sneezing and coughing so violently that she's afraid that he'll blow his head off.

She demands that they go to her mum's and stay there until he's better. He firmly refuses, convinced Jackie will try to poison his broth while he's weak and out of it. Rose wants to roll her eyes but gives him her best pleading look instead, knowing full well that he has trouble saying no to that.

Sure enough, he ends up being mothered by Jackie Tyler for a full week. He complains but he doesn't mean any of it. When they're about to leave, after having fussed over Rose, Jackie moves on to the Doctor, mussing his hair and telling him to wear clean underwear.

Rose thinks that the Doctor might just die then and there but he doesn't. Only squirms away and turns beet red. Rose can tell that her mother does it purposely when she sees the sly, satisfied smirk on Jackie's face as she closes the door behind them.

* * *

They're off on more adventures after that.

Once, they end up in a parallel world by mistake. Rose finds that she and her family are dead in it. They plan on leaving just as soon as the TARDIS is fully functional again but there's an alien threat and they just can't help themselves.

They end up running back to the TARDIS and as they hurtle past the London Eye, she thinks that there's a strange man in pinstripes staring at them in shock. But being stared at is nothing new for them and she's not surprised and doesn't think about it twice.

They're back on their own world in a few minutes.

* * *

In one unexpected turn of events, they meet Jack again. The Doctor tries to run but is unsuccessful. Rose, who'd previously been under the misconception that Jack was dead, demands all kinds of explanations that the Doctor refuses to give. They fight and she walks off to clear her head.

He runs after her and finds her at a chip shop, sitting alone. He slides into the seat across from her.

"I'm sorry," he says.

She spares him a glance and goes back to picking at her chips.

"I'm sorry too," she mumbles.

He sighs, runs his hands across his face and decides that she deserves to know what happened to Jack. He tells her how the Daleks had them all surrounded and how Jack had been killed along with everyone else in the Game Station and that he'd been the only one left. He tells her how the delta wave couldn't be modified and that if he were to activate it, they'd all die; everyone within the wave's reaches. He tells her that he just couldn't do that in the end.

_A coward every time._

And just when he had thought that everything was lost, he tells her how she came for him and for Jack. Bathed in gold and shining brighter than a supernova. When she asks how she became, or will become that way, he lies that he doesn't know. Only that she'd possessed far too much power for a human to handle and that whatever it is that her future self has done is very, _very _ dangerous.

He tells her about Jack then, and how she brought him back. He'd sensed that something was wrong back in the Game Station but it was only when they'd met Jack again that he realised what had happened to him. He tells her that she couldn't control all that power; that she brought her friend back, but she brought him back forever.

And now he can't ever die. He's a fixed point in time.

She listens silently and when they go back to the TARDIS, where Jack is waiting, she hugs him as tightly as she can and apologises over and over again in between sobs.

* * *

Jack travels with them again, and the Doctor finds that staying around him gets easier by the day. Soon, they're almost back to their old routine.

They end up in 1953 (where Rose gets her face taken and the Doctor almost ends up in hysterics), then they go to see the Alignment of Exidor after which it's 18th century Venice where he almost blows up the entire city while trying to keep Giacomo Girolamo Casanova away from his Rose. In the end it's a simple matter of letting Jack loose that solves the Doctor's troubles. Or not...

It is only after a while that they realise that the combination of Jack Harkness and Giacomo Casanova is the stuff of nightmares and that no one is safe. Jack has the time of his life, Rose gets a stitch laughing, and the Doctor develops a severe migraine. Also, they end up owing Casanova a chicken. The Doctor has no idea how that happened but he's sure that it definitely involved Jack.

It's fun for the next month, and the next, and the next, especially on Rose's birthday when the Doctor and Jack try to bake a cake for her which thankfully doesn't end up splattered on the walls like the Doctor's last attempt but is only mildly edible. None of them can get past the first slice.

So, the Doctor takes them to Vish-Vish in the Falke Galaxy in the year 993232 and finds Rose the very best cake there is to find. It mostly ends up being the victim of a food fight (which Jack starts) but whatever bit of it is left is simply delicious. Rose gives him the longest, most passionate snog of his life as a thank you. He splutters something about not really getting a proper gift but she snogs him again to shut him up.

* * *

He gets her a hairclip he finds in the bazaar of Klaf'alch a few days later. It is pink and white with hints of teal colouring the edges and she simply loves it. That gets him another snog.

They buy some bits and bobs for the TARDIS and when Rose asks him if there's something to be found in this bazaar that might make a good gift for her mum, he directs her towards the Bazooliums.

"They grow hot when it's sunny," he explains, "and cold when it's about to rain."

They have a limitless credit stick so they buy it.

Next stop: Earth, London, the Powell Estates.

* * *

They'd been so happy together that the Doctor had forgotten for a while what it is always like for him. That in the end, no matter what, there comes a time when they all leave, whether by choice or not, and then he's left all alone. Again.

But that's what happens. A storm comes and Rose is gone... and all he's left with is a white wall and two broken hearts.

He searches like a madman for a crack in the universe so that he can get her back again but when he finds the crack, he realises that it's too small and all he can do is burn up a sun to say goodbye.

She tells him that she loves him. He has always known and he can bet that she knows that he feels the same way, but he can't say it before the time runs out, and he's left with the words still in his throat.

He stumbles into her room and in a fit smashes every object he can lay his hands on until there isn't anything left to break, after which he tries to fix everything back to the way it was. Jack finds him there, trying to restore the room to the state in which Rose had left it. His hands are shaking and it is with a wobbly voice that he tells Jack to go away. He wants to be alone with his Rose, he says.

Jack tries to gently steer him away but the Doctor refuses and starts yelling and slams the door on his friend's face, locking it. He breaks down and cries after that.

* * *

The Doctor lives in a cloud in the sky now. He's sulking there because the Universe is being mean. He wants his Rose back but the Universe doesn't seem to care so he stops caring as well. There are no daring adventures for him now. No saving planets and getting into trouble. All that is in the past.

Sulking is his present.

Jack tries to call once in a while to check up on him. So do a few of his other friends. He never picks up the phone.

The only time he gets down from his cloud is on Christmas. He buys two paper crowns. One pink, the other red. He puts on the red one and lays the pink one on the jump seat by Rose's jacket; the one she'd forgotten in the console room.

"Merry Christmas, Rose Tyler," he mumbles.

* * *

_Well I woke up today and you're on the other side_

_Our time will never come again_

_But if you can still dream_

_Close your eyes it will seem_

_That you can see me now and then_

_I wish today was just like every other day_

_'Cause today has been the best day_

_Everything I ever dreamed_

**_~ Murray Gold: Song For Ten_**

* * *

**A/N: A great many thanks to eveyone who left a review, added this fic to their favouries and are following it: Arella1, keepcalmandcoldplayon, SittingOnTheEdgeOfTheUnivers e, vannadear, Inka Clover, FloraFaveXNara-Wire, BooksAreMyVideogames, shannon. matthews. 338, ceese, Mia Bronte, Laikayanel, BADWOLF127, talkstoangels77, mary. norland. 5, aquarius15, gred18850, Inka Clover and Primcartoons.**

**Special thanks to Valerie E. Mackin for helping me edit this chapter.**

**So, what do you think? Was it any good? Did I do the characters justice? And who liked the special little cameo I put there?**

**I couldn't help put Jack in there as well. I just love him so very much.**

**Two more parts to go. I would love your feedback, so please don't forget to review. It's the knowledge that there're people who are reading this and want me to continue spurs me to write faster and you do want the next chapter soon, don't you?**


	3. The Stardust Melody

**A/N: The paragraphs in italics are what's happening to Eleven and the ones in normal text are about Rose in the parallel world.**

* * *

**_Part Three: The Stardust Melody_**

**_by The Valiant Child_**

* * *

_Right from the start_

_You were a thief_

_You stole my heart_

_And I, your willing victim_

_I let you see the parts of me_

_That weren't all that pretty_

_And with every touch you fixed them..._

_..._ _Just give me a reason_

_Just a little bit's enough_

_Just a second we're not broken; just bent_

_And we can learn to love again_

_It's in the stars_

_It's been written in the scars on our hearts_

_We're not broken; just bent_

_And we can learn to love again_

_**~Pink: Just Give Me a Reason**_

* * *

_There's a man called the Doctor. He lives on a cloud in the sky and there was a time when all he did, all he ever did was help people and save worlds. Now, he's gone on a holiday but it's looking more and more like a retirement. A permanent one._

_And word of this has spread far and wide across galaxies; to the good and the evil. Especially among the evil, and if you're really, really quiet, you can even hear some of them breathing sighs of relief._

_But then, after a few months go by, the wrong people get wind of this news. The Family of Blood hear about the Doctor: the Time Lord who can live for years and years. The temptation is too strong to resist because they're dying, and they don't want to, and he's the perfect solution to their problems._

_Now the Doctor is running again, but not to save civilisations and blow things up. He's running because he's being hunted._

_Although, he _does _blow up a few things while he's at it._

* * *

Rose Tyler has been working with UNIT for a while now. Five months and eighteen days to be more precise. She doesn't particularly like them, or rather, doesn't approve of some of their methods, but she can't bring herself to lead a normal alien-free life. Not after all she's seen and been though.

Also, she doubts that UNIT will let her get away that easily. They do their best to remind her that they were the ones who'd caught her, kept her from falling into the void and brought her to their world and even helped her meet the Doctor for the last time in Dårlig Ulv Stranden.

Her designated title is "consultant," but sometimes she feels more like a prisoner.

There _is _a Doctor in this Universe. But Rose doesn't try to find him. She thinks about it sometimes but it's not that easy, she tells herself. This Doctor isn't _her_ Doctor. Her Doctor is too far away, and this life right here is all she has left.

Even so, more often than not, she finds herself looking for a blue Police Box on street corners with a man in a bowtie and a promise of the stars.

* * *

_He's been running for days now, and the TARDIS is in a dire need for a refuel, but he can't stop or the Family will catch up. He occasionally contemplates dealing with the Family and getting this over with but he still continues running. Part of him likes it. The chase momentarily keeps his thoughts away from what he has lost._

_Just a few more months, he tells himself. He's doing the Family a kindness. Rose would want that._

_But then the TARDIS breaks down and crashes. At a little girl's backyard no less. The Doctor hasn't been this frustrated in a long while. It's just been longing, brooding, crying and avoiding friends who've been concerned for him since he lost Rose. (Except Jackie. He only picked up calls from her. She lost Rose too.)_

"_Oh, look," he smiles and tells the little girl after he's done screaming at his TARDIS. "I'm experiencing frustration. Ha! Haven't done that in a while."_

_The little girl thinks that he's possibly crazy._

_Nonetheless, she'd asked for a policeman and his box says "Police" (the same box he is now calling names that she's positive are not meant for her young ears), so she asks boldly, "Are you here about the crack in my wall?"_

* * *

She is sure that this is her life for however long she has left. She's had her phase of denial and has come to accept that the Doctor really _is_ gone.

But the Universe is huge and ridiculous. And sometimes, there are miracles...

She's called in over a case involving ATMOS, the Atmospheric Omission System, and that's when she meets Martha Jones. Rose is more than a little surprised when after she introduces herself, the medical officer covers her mouth in shock and then hurls herself into a tight hug that squeezes all the air out of Rose.

"Oh my God," Martha exclaims. "Does he know you're here?"

"Um, does who know that I'm here?" Rose asks cautiously.

Martha's eyebrows rise almost all the way to her hairline.

"Wait right here," she says. "Just...please, wait _right here. _I'll be back in a moment."

Before Rose can formulate a reply, Martha is pulling out her phone and running as fast as she can as she dials.

* * *

"_...two parts of time and space that should have never touched...pressed together. Right here in the wall of your bedroom."_

_He starts to feel a little more alive again now that he's staring at the face of another adventure. Oh, how he's missed this. A crack in the universe, a little Scottish girl living in an empty house that shouldn't be empty, and an escaped prisoner; just the thing he needs._

_But of course, the Universe has other plans._

_There's a loud crash somewhere outside and a tremor follows. The Family has found him. He has to run. Cracks and prisoners can wait._

"_What was that?" Amelia asks._

_Yes, cracks and prisoners can wait, but he can't leave little Amelia Pond here. She'll end up fodder for the Family._

"_We have to go." He grabs her hand and makes a dash for the front door._

"_Why? What's going on?" she demands._

_The Doctor turns around abruptly and presses his lips together. "You know when grown-ups tell you, 'everything's gonna be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better?"_

"_Yes," she answers._

"_Everything's gonna be fine," he says._

* * *

There's a man in blue pinstripes and a light brown coat with the craziest—but also very nearly the coolest—hair she has ever seen staring at her like he's seen a ghost. Beside him, Martha has the biggest grin while the red-haired woman standing on the other side is simply confused. Rose is, too. Very confused.

"Um," she says tentatively. "Hello."

The man takes a step forward, but it's more like a stumble.

"Hello," he squeaks.

* * *

_They run far and wide, right to the Medusa Cascade when he realises that he can't run anymore. The TARDIS is bone tired and now with Amelia Pond with him, he can't risk it. The Family will have to get what they've been asking for._

_He braces himself against the console and closes his eyes; his head hangs low. He doesn't want to do this. _

"_What's that song?" Amelia asks._

_His eyes snap open, and he can hear it too. It's haunting, yet happy; familiar, yet strange; old and yet something so very new...it is the song of the stars and of time. He's heard it before._

_There's a burst of gold but he doesn't close or avert his eyes and soon enough, when it subsides, she's there...standing in front of him in all her golden glory: Rose Tyler, the Bad Wolf. She doesn't say anything at first, merely stares as though she hasn't seen him in forever. He feels the same way._

"_Hello," she whispers hesitantly._

"_Hello," he whispers back._

* * *

At first, his face falls when he realises that she doesn't recognise him. Then, it gets worse when she tells him that she's from a parallel world. He looks like he's been punched in the stomach.

She, on the other hand, isn't all very surprised. She'd known that she might end up meeting the Doctor here. She's also not very fazed to see that he looks entirely different from her Doctor (they had breached the regeneration conversation after she'd almost lost him in one adventure). In fact, that makes it easier for her not to hug the life out of him then and there.

There's a crisis outside, but none of them care. The Doctor is leaning against the wall with his eyes on the ceiling and his hands in his pockets. Rose is standing all the way across the room, leaning on the wall opposite him.

"I'm sorry," she mumbles. It comes out so quiet that she thinks that he probably can't hear her, but he does. His eyes immediately snap towards her.

"What for?" he asks, almost as softly.

"I'm not her," she says.

The Doctor's gaze holds hers for a long moment before he leans away from the wall and starts walking towards her.

"But you _are _Rose. Rose Marion Tyler," he says. "Not the same Rose that I've known, but you _are_ Rose."

She tries not to cry, but when his arms wrap around her and she realises that he smells the same as her Doctor and she can hear the double beat of his twin hearts, she breaks down. She'd been thinking that she'd had her fill of crying. Hours in the Ghost Shift room, hours in the beach at Dårlig Ulv Stranden, and months and months later every night as she slept and dreamt. But here she is, crying again as he holds her just like he's always had (which makes it worse because this him is not really hers), and he's gently rocking her to and fro.

This time, he's the one apologising.

* * *

_His hugs have never been so tight before. Then again, they've never been apart for so long before. She can feel him shaking ever so slightly, and the moisture on her shoulder where his head is buried is proof that he's crying. Again. He's being doing that a lot lately, he absently realises._

"_Don't go," he pleads into her hair. "Please, please, please, don't go."_

"_I'll find you," Rose reassures. Or tries to. She can tell that he's not convinced from the way his hold only tightens further._

"_I don't want you to leave." His voice cracks._

"_I don't want to," she admits. "But I can't stay."_

"_Why?" he asks. He sounds almost angry now._

"_Because if I do, I'll burn."_

_That snaps him to his senses in an instant._

"_I'll find you," she tells him again. "I _will_ find you, Doctor."_

"_How can you know that?" he asks._

"_Because I can see it," she answers. "I can see everything. All that is, all that was, all that ever could be."_

_He leans down and kisses her._

"_I'll wait," he murmurs just as she vanishes into a burst of gold. He closes his eyes this time and when he opens them, he sees that the TARDIS's Chameleon Arch has been lowered._

* * *

After the Sontarans are gone and the world has been saved, he invites her to travel to the stars with him. She doesn't know if this is a good or a bad idea, but she can't bring herself to say no.

They are hurled into an adventure almost immediately. You can expect nothing less from a company so brilliantly mad. And maybe, that's a good thing. Having something to do leaves little room for the Doctor and Rose to be awkward around each other.

They save words, dabble with explosives, get imprisoned, hold hands and run. It doesn't feel as natural as it used to, but it isn't uncomfortable either.

They go to a library once. Actually it's THE Library. A library that's the size of a planet and to quote him, it's, "so big, it doesn't need a name. Just a great, big THE." But of course, it isn't just a simple visit. Nothing for them is simple. Not even their relationship. _Especially_ their relationship.

There's more running and more aliens and things get even stranger with the appearance of a certain Professor. Professor River Song, Archaeologist; who knows far too much about everything and everyone than the Doctor is comfortable with. He distrusts her, but Rose feels strangely drawn. She can hear a song when the Professor is near.

"Trust her," Rose prompts.

"What?"

"You can trust Melody," Rose says.

Professor Song visibly flinches.

"Rose—" the Doctor starts.

"_Trust her,"_ Rose insists harder.

The Doctor frowns but relents.

In the end, River saves them all. And the Doctor saves River.

* * *

Donna keeps a close eye over the interaction between the Doctor and Rose, frowning all the while. It's like they're trying to get close and avoid each other at the same time. They get restless if they're not in the same room, and shy and awkward if they are. It's infuriating.

When they aren't off saving civilisations and defeating evil aliens, they spend most of their time in the TARDIS library: the Doctor in one corner and Rose in another, both throwing sad, longing looks (which almost makes Donna gag and cry at the same time) when the other isn't looking.

But they still hold hands and hug after every adventure. This is the only time when no one is stammering or blushing or pining away from a distance. This is a time when things feel almost normal. Donna thinks that there might be hope yet.

One time, with Rose and Donna's insistence, the Doctor decides to get a few hours of sleep. It's been a few weeks for him and it has come to the point where there're bags under his eyes. He can't find the energy to argue so he simply collapses into his bed. Or rather, Rose's bed. _His_ Rose's, that is. They've switched rooms. As neither Rose not the Doctor felt quite comfortable with Rose using his Rose's bedroom, he'd offered her his own. Of course there are several spare rooms in the TARDIS and they're both aware of the fact but neither brings it up and merely sticks to this arrangement.

A couple of hours later, when Rose exits the shower and wanders around her designated room (which is surprisingly messy, especially considering how it's actual owner never really spends time in it anyway), looking for clean towels, she's more than a little surprised to suddenly find herself in the arms of a very upset Time Lord. She _is _concerned about him, but she's also very aware that she's very, very naked.

He, however, doesn't seem to have noticed.

"Um, Doctor?" she begins.

He makes a small noise of acknowledgement at the back of his throat.

"I, um...I'm...not...um, wearing anything," she mumbles with embarrassment.

"Oh." His voice turns incredibly squeaky, but he isn't letting go. There is a long moment of awkward silence before he springs away and hurriedly covers his eyes with a hand.

"I'm sorry," he says. His face is as red as his trainers. "I didn't...um, I should have knocked. I'm so sorry."

She assures him that it's okay, even though she's blushing just as much as he is. As she rushes about to put some clothes on, he hurries to tell her that he didn't see anything. Or feel anything. He's wearing too many layers to have noticed and he was very upset at that moment as well. Plus, he wouldn't have done that—hugged her while she was naked—if he had known that she was naked. He isn't that sort of a man. He doesn't sexually assault companions. Well, he just did, but it was an accident! He didn't mean to. Honest. He's very sorry.

He thinks that she's going to slap him, but she laughs and hugs him instead. He doesn't move. His eyes are still closed.

"Rose? Um, are you still...er..." he trails off.

"No," she says.

He sighs in relief, opens his eyes and hugs her back.

He can no longer remember what his nightmare was about.

* * *

Once, Rose gets taken by an evil dictator on an alien planet they visit. Donna has never seen the Doctor so angry and so scared at the same time.

They want her as a sacrifice. Apparently, that's what the kings do to anyone with blonde hair on this planet. They think that they can gain more power by doing so. The Doctor hadn't known, and Donna knows that he's blaming himself as he frantically rushes about to find Rose.

It doesn't take very long. She manages to escape on her own, and she finds him instead. It's not like either of them haven't been kidnapped by aliens before, but never has Rose seen such sheer panic on the Doctor's face. Or such blind hatred when he sees the dried blood on her forehead.

She tries to tell him that she's fine, but she's too weak and too tired, and before she knows it, she's collapsed into his arms.

Donna has never had to work so hard to convince the Doctor not to burn down the entire city. In the end, he settles for overthrowing the king and his allies.

He doesn't let go of Rose's hand for months after that.

* * *

Trouble hits in Midnight next.

Rose does not know the exact details of what happened in the shuttle to the Sapphire Waterfalls, but she knows the gist of it. She'd stayed back with Donna who had insisted that they get to have some time for a little "girl talk."

She regrets it now. So does Donna. Especially when they see the look on the Doctor's face when he gets back to them.

That night, Rose doesn't go to sleep. Instead, she stays with the Doctor in the console room, helping him repair things that aren't really broken. They talk about everything and nothing and leave no room for silence. They even dance to Glen Miller. This Doctor is really good at it.

Hours later, Donna wakes up to find the Doctor under the console, tinkering aimlessly and talking a hundred miles per hour about this oriental planet of Shan Shen where he thinks they should go next. She clears his throat to get his attention and points at Rose who has fallen asleep in the jump seat with his long brown coat wrapped around her.

He carries her back to her bed and it is then that he realises that she might not be his Rose and he might not be her Doctor but they're still the Doctor and Rose. They're still best friends. He lays her under the covers and reaches out to gently brush a strand of hair from her face. She smiles in her sleep, and he leans down and kisses her on her forehead and closes the door behind him.

* * *

They don't go to Shan Shen next but to Wickery (which is known for its vibrant gift shops) when he realises that it's Rose's birthday in a few days. He sneaks away from her and Donna when they're distracted and sets off to find something that Rose would like.

When the day arrives, he hands her a messily wrapped box with a grin on his face that is as wide as the Cheshire Cat's. Inside lies a music box, or rather, a sphere. It's transparent but turns smoky and plays songs that compliment the mood of the person who is holding it. The smoke inside also changes colours accordingly. His grin widens further at her sheer delight.

Later, he and Donna try to bake a cake for Rose. It's an ever bigger disaster than what happened on her last birthday. The kitchen looks like a battle ground when she walks in to find the Doctor and Donna yelling at each other.

"We'd have had a perfect cake if you hadn't meddled with the oven, you dumbo!"

"This is not my fault!"

"Yes, it is! I'll make it more sonic, you said. It'll be better, you said. Well, I don't like your definition of better."

The Doctor is about to retort when Rose can't help it anymore and bursts out laughing. The kitchen is a right mess, but they look even worse. Donna looks like an entire bag of flour exploded on her face, and the Doctor has chocolate smudges all over. Even in his hair.

The Doctor frowns. "This isn't funny, Rose. Your cake is ruined."

Rose shakes her head and gives Donna a thank you hug and then stands on her tiptoes to kiss the Doctor's cheek.

"Let's have chips instead," she suggests.

* * *

She's coming back. His Rose is coming back.

But it's also the end of the world. Not that anyone expected any less.

Rose is unnaturally quiet the entire time, and Donna thinks that it's because she's afraid that she's going to lose the Doctor. When she moves to talk to Rose about it, Rose looks at her with glassy eyes and asks, "Can you hear it?"

"Hear what?"

"The singing," Rose says. She sounds distressed. "It's the same song I heard around Melody."

Donna doesn't understand and almost all of Rose's sentences start making even less sense after that. The Doctor is scared now. The Earth is missing, they have no leads, and Rose is acting mad. He doesn't know what's going on and not knowing has him even more on edge.

"Can't you hear it?" Rose demands.

The Doctor shakes his head solemnly and guides her to the jump seat.

* * *

The singing gets even worse after the find the Earth.

When the Doctor steps out into the street that looks like a ghost town, Rose can barely make it to the TARDIS doors. The singing is so loud now, that it's drowning everything else.

She stumbles out somehow and can see that the Doctor is running like his life depends on it. Far ahead, she can see herself running towards him with the biggest smile on her face. They don't see the Dalek but she does. Just as it yells, "EXTER-MIN-ATE," the song in Rose's head reaches crescendo and the Dalek disappears among swirls of gold. There is only dust left.

Rose faints.

* * *

She's falling with the TARDIS.

While the others stepped into the Dalek Crucible, the song held her back. Then the door had closed in her face, and then she was falling.

The song draws her to the console and as the TARDIS starts to burn, a hatch opens and all she sees is gold. She's been drawn to this moment for so long now. The song reaches its peak, and in that moment she can see everything. All of time and space. She knows what she has to do.

* * *

"Let go, Rose," the Doctor pleads.

This is just like the other time.

She doesn't think she can. But she has to. She has done what she created herself for. She has saved her Doctor in the Game Station, saved him again from having to destroy the Family and now saved him and everyone else from Davros and his Reality Bomb. Every Dalek in the ship is now nothing but dust.

And if she doesn't let go now, she knows what he will do. He can't die here, she knows. She's seen how it happens, and this isn't it.

The burn that is spreading inside her is making it hard to concentrate though.

"I don't know how," she says. There's a hint of fear in her voice.

"Listen to the song." The other Rose tells her all of a sudden.

"Song?" she vaguely hears the Doctor ask. She's already doing as instructed.

The singing is still very loud but it no longer hurts. Instead, it chases away the burn that was spreading through her, and the gold that swirls around her moves back into the TARDIS. Before she collapses, strong arms catch her.

* * *

She can't handle it when she wakes up. She can still hear the song, and there is an insistent drumbeat hammering at the base of her skull.

"Make it stop," she moans. She's not sure whom she's asking. She just wants it to stop.

"I'm sorry," the Doctor tells her. "I'm so sorry."

"What's happening?" she asks. She's scared now.

"You absorbed the Time Vortex," he explains. "That by itself is very dangerous, but you absorbed the vortex of a world you are not from. Even after you've let go of the power, it's still killing you."

She doesn't know what to say. She doesn't want to die.

"There's something I can do though," he says.

"What?"

"You'll have to forget me," he begins_,_ and she immediately starts protesting.

"You'll remember _your_ Doctor," he hurriedly says. "You'll just be forgetting the past months since you've met me and travelled in the TARDIS. You'll still remember him."

"But I don't want to forget you," she says.

There's moisture in his eyes. "You'll have to. I can't let you die, Rose. And I promise that I'll try to find your Doctor. There might still be some cracks in the Universe. I'll find him for you."

"What'll happen to me after I forget?"

"Jack will take care of you," he tells her.

Rose sniffs and hugs him. "Thank you for everything."

"Thank you, too." He says.

* * *

A song lights up the room when she wakes up. It's a bittersweet melody.

Rose notices that she doesn't recognise the room she is in. Neither does she know where the strange sphere that she's holding came from. She feels oddly attached to it though. It's the thing that's playing the song.

She sits up and examines the object carefully. It's transparent and inside it swirls a curious smoke. It's sort of like the _Rememberall _from _Harry Potter_, only it's like a music box and the smoke inside it is sort of...brown. She can't describe the exact shade but it gives her a warm feeling...like the kind you get from a mug of hot chocolate in a snowy day. And it reminds her of books for some reason. Old, worn, brown leather bound books that contain a pantheon on never ending knowledge. She also gets an image of a smile. A bright grin with lots of teeth in a face full of freckles.

It makes her smile too and when she looks closer at the sphere, she can see swirls of yellow amongst the brown. They surprisingly remind her of bananas, which is rather strange. And also a bit of a burning sun.

It reminds her of a goodbye.

She listens to it for a while longer before she places the sphere on the bedside table and wanders out. Her mouth falls open when she sees who's sitting on the other room.

"Jack," she whispers.

He swivels around to face here. There a large grin on his face.

"Rosie!"

She runs to hug him, and he spins her around. She hasn't been this happy since she came to this world. She doesn't even care at the moment that this Jack might not be her Jack. It's been months since Canary Warf, but for some reason she feels like she's just lost the Doctor again and having Jack here makes things easier.

From the corner of her eye, she sees a man in a pinstriped suit—who'd been standing by the door—leave the room.

* * *

Two weeks later, she's walking back to her flat from work when she hears a sound that she'd thought she would never hear again.

She runs to the source as fast as her legs can carry her. She's almost afraid that it might disappear before she can get to it. But when she turns around a corner and steps into an alley behind a department store, it's still there. She takes each step slowly and cautiously. She feels like her heart is trying to break through her rib cage and jump out and run into the TARDIS before she does.

She fishes out the key that's always hanging around her neck and fits it into the lock and turns it.

When she opens the door, the first thing she hears is the panicked voice of a child. Rose sees her then. It's a red-haired girl around seven or eight and she's shaking the unconscious body of a man lying on the floor.

"Doctor!" Rose cries as she runs over.

Just as she kneels over to him, the monitor on the console lights up.

"This working?" the Doctor in the video says as he taps the screen. "Rose? Are you there? Well, I'm guessing you are. This video is only programmed to start up if the TARDIS detects your presence inside it. Anyway, I know that you're probably confused but things are about to get even more wibby-wobby. By the time you find me, I'll have turned into a human..."

* * *

**A/N: So, was it any good? It's much longer than the previous chapter so it took a while for me to finish. I'm sorry that there's so little Eleven and Rose interaction but at least you get lots of Ten. And I just LOVED writing him. Makes me want to write more...which leads me to think that I might write a bonus chapter at the end of this fic. It'll focus on Ten and his Rose and what happens after this Rose left. Maybe I'll throw in a little Eleven and Rose as well. So, what do you say? Would you want to read that or should that plot bunny be chucked into the trash?**

**And who's looking forward to sassy little Amelia Pond in the next chapter?**

**Anyway, thank you for all your kind reviews in the previous chapter. And for adding this story to your favourites list and following it. Knowing that there are people reading this makes me write more and faster. So a great big thanks to the following: SittingOnTheEdgeOfTheUnivers e, xAppleDownx , blue sky, JollyRoger1, Laikayanel, The Doctor Rose , keepcalmandcoldplayon, Arella1, Independent.C , Klexenia, Konran no Tenshi, NicNack4U, Rude and Slightly Ginger, Trivial Pursuit, aLphAkiTTy, magic blue box, mmendoza688, xRoguexRavenx, Acoustic Dancer, Blue0007, FallToPeices, Thunder31, aquarius15, fairyfaum, and nastya. bartlby.**

**Also, a shoutout to Valerie E. Mackin for being a fantastic beta reader.**

**Look out for Part Four and don't forget to leave a review. :)**


	4. We Are All Mad Here

**A/N: I'm sorry I took so long to update. Exams. You know how they go. I had thought that I would be able to write out this chapter in between all the exam madness but the last two weeks of it was insanely stressful for me. Oh, well, it's all over now and I have a couple of months free before life catches up so I'll do my best to finish this fic and start on new chapters for ****_They Dream of the Stars_**** until then. Which brings me to the part where this chapter is not the final one. There'll be another one and then two bonuses. So keep reading and reviewing because that's what inspires me to write.**

* * *

**_PART FOUR: We Are All Mad Here_**

**_By the Valiant Child_**

* * *

_Hello? Hello?_  
_C-can you hear me?_  
_I can be your china doll_  
_If you like to see me fall._

**_~Lana Del Rey: Without you_**

* * *

She visits the TARDIS whenever she possibly can.

It's being kept safe in the Hub so that the Family doesn't get any tips on the Doctor's whereabouts. That is, if the Family can cross over to this world in the first place. But none of them want to take any risks.

She also watches the video he left her every time she pops by. Not for the instructions; she practically has those memorised, but just to see his face and hear his voice. Because John isn't the same, you see. The Doctor says so in the video, and even if he may act so much more like the Doctor than Rose had expected, he isn't the Doctor. The Doctor is inside the silver fob watch that Rose carries all the time with her. And John may like bananas and Jammie Dodgers and fawn over fezzes and wear tweed like there's no other fabric in the universe and talk a hundred miles per hour about everything and nothing and give her the longest, most fantastic hugs and hold her hand like he never wants to let go.

But he isn't the Doctor.

That's what she's been trying to convince herself for weeks, at least. It's just so very difficult when John behaves exactly the way you'd expect the Doctor to. And then there's the amnesia to boot. That wasn't on the list. John was supposed to have fabricated memories of a normal human life, but he's entirely blank. He does, however, remember Rose. Or her name at least. And other little bits about her, mostly her habits.

The video addresses that issue, as well. The Doctor had said that John would have enough residual awareness to let her and Amelia in. But John doesn't remember Amelia. Only Rose. Luckily, Amelia is excellent in making up details, and John trusts Rose impeccably.

The ongoing theory about John's memory is that the Chameleon Arch couldn't input any since the TARDIS had crossed into a world it isn't originally from. Jack even went to ask this world's Doctor if such a thing was possible and the Doctor had affirmed.

Jack doesn't tell Rose whom he'd asked though. The Doctor had repeatedly warned him not to. He only tells her that he'd asked an "expert". Rose seems quite lost for the first few weeks and she doesn't bother to ask Jack further about this unnamed "expert". She has other things to worry about.

Three more months, Rose tells herself, and then he'll be back. Her Doctor. And things will get back to normal.

Right?

* * *

He has been having the strangest dreams. Of a magic blue box, a Lord of Time and his Rose.

His Rose? Did he say his Rose? Sorry, he didn't mean that. She's not his. Although he wishes she was. And he, hers. But she likes that Jack bloke. He just knows it. He can tell. Amelia says different but what does she know? She's only seven. And granted that she acts much more mature than he at times...okay, most of the time; but that does not mean that she's right about this.

Anyway, what was he thinking of? Oh, yes, his dreams.

He has them every night, every single night since the day he woke up with no memory whatsoever. Apparently he was in some accident that no one knows the proper details about. Rose says she wasn't there but she came rushing the moment the hospital called.

He's grateful for that. Grateful for her. She feels like home when even his own sister feels alien to him.

Which is not so say he doesn't like Amelia. He likes her very much. But she feels like a stranger somehow. There's also the fact that they look nothing alike, and she's Scottish and he can swear that he's not. Amelia tells him that their father was English and he's more like him. She, on the other hand leans towards their mother. He doesn't remember either of their parents though. Not a shred.

But surprisingly, he remembers Rose. Well, not particular memories but he remembers little things like how she likes her tea and her favourite book. Maybe it's because they've been friends since they were children. And also maybe because he might possibly be in love with her. But he hasn't told her the last bit. She fancies Jack after all. Stupid Jack Harkness with his stupid flirty habits and stupid pretty face and stupid American accent.

That's why he hasn't told her about his dreams. Or specifically the content of them. Particularly the bad ones. She knows he has bad dreams but she never asks what about. She merely hugs him if he ever wakes up screaming, which he has been doing quite often as of late. He always apologises for having woken her up but she reminds him each time that she doesn't mind.

At times like these, he thinks that he'd be lost without her. He actually thinks that quite often. Especially since his entire life feels so strange to him now. Even his own body doesn't feel quite right. Or his name...John Pond. What kind of name is that? Pond is fine but John and Pond together? Blech!

Lucky Amelia, getting the fairy tale name (and the lovely ginger hair). What kind of terrifying thoughts had his parents been thinking to have named him John Pond? Thankfully Rose just calls him John. Or Pond. Never John and Pond together. He'd rather she call him "Doctor" though, like she does in his dreams where he's his great adventurer who travels though time and space in his sexy blue box. He doesn't tell her that though. She'd think him mad. He doesn't want his Rose to think that he's mad. That would make more difficult for him to compete with Jack for her affections.

* * *

She thinks she knows what he dreams about. He never tells her but she thinks it's about the Doctor. She has even caught him crying out for her at nights; asking her not to leave and that he'll burn another sun to keep her if he has to. She wakes him up just to stop the screams because she can't bear it and stays with him for the rest of the night even when he doesn't ask her to.

It's become a bit of a routine really. They go to sleep in different room but before dawn, end up together. It's no longer even awkward like the first night was. He stammered a lot back then. And even in the darkness of the room, she knew that he was blushing. They'd started off on far sides of the bed but when morning came, Rose woke to find herself wrapped in John's arms and her head tucked in the crook of his neck.

She likes this arrangement because she has bad dreams too. They're mostly about losing him but there's this one where she's burning up from the inside and there's a song that's tearing at her mind. It scares her more than anything but she hasn't told him about that. She hasn't told anyone about that because she thinks that sometimes she can hear the song even when she's awake.

She fears that she might be going mad.

* * *

She's some sort of super spy or the like. At least that's what he thinks. Rose hasn't exactly disclosed the specifics of her job but he's caught certain words in hushed conversations with Jack. Who, also happens to be a super spy.

That makes it even harder for him to compete with Jack. He doesn't even have a job. That's why, a week later, he gets one at the University in the Physics department. This also helps in justifying his love for tweed. There's also the congratulatory hug which Rose gives him that makes him think he's made a good decision. Although Professors still can't beat Super Spies.

Damn it.

It's not that he dislikes Jack though. Jack's actually very nice. He even helped retrieving the paperwork needed for applying at the University. But he does seem to have some sort of a special relationship with Rose. John doesn't know the specifics and Rose has only told him that Jack, too, is an old friend but only very few details have been provided about that.

So, while he does like Jack, it doesn't stop him from being jealous.

* * *

She's happy for him when he announces with pride about his new job. She's also terrified that the Family might find him. Sure, they haven't had any indications that the Family has made it through to this world but she can't help worrying. But he's so very happy about being a Professor that his excitement is contagious. Plus, she can't just tie him up and keep him locked inside the flat all day.

Though, she wishes she could. Especially when he tells her about River Song. Professor River Song from the Archaeology department. She's rather nice, he tells Rose. He talks a lot about her, in fact.

Rose merely smiles through gritted teeth and listens to all his tales about the wonderful Professor River Song, but at one point she snaps and almost bursts a blood vessel trying to prove that River is an alien. She isn't able to dig very deep before Jack suggest that he take over before she kills River just by glaring at her photo online.

Much to her disappointment, River Song is completely human. So, Rose tries to convince herself that that's a good thing. And maybe John doesn't like River like that. He's incredibly dense about these things anyway. And so what if he _does_ like her? He's John. He can like whoever he wants. He's not the Doctor.

And yet, she still wishes she could tie him up and keep him in the flat for the next two months.

* * *

He likes River. She's nice, funny, and clever, and she keeps trying to convince him to confess to Rose. Okay, maybe he doesn't like the last part. She just doesn't seem to get that Rose fancies someone else. It's like talking to Amelia.

Maybe they're secretly related.

She comes by his class every day to ask him how much progress he's made with Rose. None, he tells her every time. She even gets him drunk one time to elicit enough courage but that's as useful as trying to convince a Korkop to do the pelvic thrust. At first they're both surprised that he _can _get drunk (after he initially spits any alcohol she offers him) and then they're both surprised when _she_ ends up getting drunk.

Things get a bit hazy after that. He remembers singing the Bohemian Rhapsody in the middle of the street, dancing like a chicken with River, inviting complete strangers to travel with them in his brilliant time and space ship and having a lengthy debate about how silly and stupid Archaeologists are (that one ended with his bowtie being a sacrifice to the fire gods for his insensitivity).

He doesn't know how he got back to the apartment but he does remember throwing himself at Rose and telling her how much he missed her, clinging to her and burying his face in her rain-scented hair like that was the first time he'd met her after being separated for years. He passes out then so he doesn't know how he ends up in his jim-jams and tucked safely under the sheets and come morning, his head aches so bad that he doesn't care.

Rose calls Jack to take the day off and takes care of him. John would have thrown his fist into the air and shouted in triumph if he didn't feel so ill. It's strange, he repeatedly tells Rose. He shouldn't, he really, really shouldn't have even been able to get intoxicated as he had. A dozen hyper-vodkas have never done him in before. Whatever these hyper-vodkas are. What are hyper-vodkas anyway? Ugh, he might have known had his head not been trying to split into two. Really though, his biology should superior than that.

"And yet, here we are," Rose tells him, patting his arm sympathetically but he can see the smile on her lips.

After Amelia leaves for school, (something John is immensely glad of because he'd felt as though her voice was booming through the room and when he'd asked let to speak a little softer, or whined that seven-year olds shouldn't scream so much, to be more precise she'd merely made a face and informed him that nine year olds shouldn't drink alcohol and slammed the front door on his face, leaving him to splutter to himself that he's nine hundred, not nine) Rose makes him the most disgusting but effective cure and they spend the day watching movies.

When they fall asleep with their heads pressed together and find that they've drooled on each other after being woken up by Jack, who'd come to check on John, he feels that this has happened before. Something about a hide and seek game and falling asleep inside a closet. Even Rose's laugh as they wash up is achingly familiar...like déjà vu.

She catches him staring and splashes him with the tap water and it ends up turning into a full blown water fight. Jack wanted a naked water fight but Jack wants everything to be naked. Like hide and seek.

John thinks that he might be starting to remember.

* * *

Or maybe he's going mad. He can't tell the difference.

It started out well enough and he'd been getting snippets of things...normal, _domestic _ things like getting mistaken as a pervert and kidnapper by Rose's mum the first the they met, getting slapped by Rose's mum for being a pervert and kidnapper, Jack asking him and Rose to get married, spending Christmas with Rose and her family with paper crowns in all their heads and laughing like there's no tomorrow, getting sick and being taken care of by Rose and her mum, baking Rose an inedible cake for her birthday...

And then there were the impossible memories...like saving Rose from shop window dummies, being saved by Rose from shop window dummies, fighting ghosts with Charles Dickens, blowing up 10 Downing Street to save the Earth from farting, green aliens, taking Rose to the past to meet her Father, meeting Jack during the London Blitz, Rose surrounded in an ethereal golden glow, Cats in wimples chasing them, fighting a werewolf, Bazooliums and bazaars in Klaf'alch, white walls and menacing pepper pots...

He doesn't know what to believe. They all seem real. The realistic ones and the impossible ones. He can even recall the exact smell of the smoky air in the bazaars of Klaf'alch and the taste of the snow in 1869 Cardiff (he and Rose had tried to catch the falling flakes on their tongues right before they'd met good old Charlie Dickens).

He's probably going insane but he doesn't want to give up these memories. They seem like they _fit_. Like they're really real and whatever else that he knows about his life is all fabricated.

And they're all centred around his pink and yellow human. He can even swear that he hears this voice when he's hugging her at times. It sounds like his own and it asks him to keep her safe.

Like it even needs asking.

* * *

"Hey, old girl," Rose says softly as she runs her fingers across the console. "How are you?"

She thinks that there is a faint answering hum. It could be just her imagination but she doesn't care. The TARDIS is the closest to home she can get these days. This and when she's with John. He may not be the Doctor, she reminds herself but they're both so very alike that sometimes she loses herself. She has no idea how she'll break the news to him about the Doctor when the time comes to open the watch that resides in her pocket. Or how she'll ever kill him (because that is essentially what's going to happen) even of it's to bring her Doctor back.

"I'm sorry I don't visit often," Rose mumbles, sitting down on the metal grating. "Been busy, you know. I think the Family might be here."

She bites her lip. She got the news when she came to work that morning. It isn't for sure but there was an incident, something like a comet crashing down that might very well be the Family. Following it had been two disappearances. Jack has been trying to reassure her, saying it could be something else but something inside Rose tells her that this is the Family. They're here.

"Don't worry though," she tells the TARDIS. "I'll protect our Doctor. I'll protect him."

And even as she says it she's not sure how competent she will be. She's going mad, she's sure now. She can hear it everywhere. The singing. It always there, at the back of her mind. Sometimes she can drown it out but sometimes it drowns her. All her dreams are of burning up now. Burning up, dying and taking the Doctor along with her.

She wakes up shaking each night and this time, instead of her keeping John's nightmare away, he's there to hold her until she's stopped sobbing.

And yet there are times when she thinks that it is her madness that's keeping her sane. She doesn't know what she will do without the song in her head. It is like a sweet torture. She's almost addicted to it. She hates it and loves it in equal parts. It scares her and soothes her at the same time. It's become a part of her.

She's gone mad, and she likes it.

* * *

**A/N: This is kind of like the prologue to the end, if you will. If I had added everything here, the chapter would have been too long. Plus, I wanted to get something out for you guys to read.**

**Anyway, ****I'll try to finish the next part in a week or so. While my exams have ended, I seem to have run out of inspiration. Maybe your reviews will get me going. ;)**

**So, you know what to do. Hope you liked this chapter.**

**Big thanks to the following people for their reviews, favourites and for following this story: JollyRoger1, Independent.C, Laikayanel , The Doctor Rose, blue sky, hotsasukefan, skidney, DarkGoddess90, You Light The Sky, ladyamadaun, Kawaii Kumori, Lady Skywalker94, aFFpenname, yorushihe, shadowneko003, hotsasukefan, Inoue Orihime15, RainbowGlory97, antienoftheshadows and Autumn embers.**

**And an ever bigger thanks to ****Valerie E. Mackin****, the best beta reader one could ask for.**


	5. Almost Home

**Part Five: Almost Home**

**By the Valiant Child**

-:-

* * *

_You knocked me sideways  
When you said that you were leaving.  
You knocked me over  
When you cried and told the truth.  
And you left me speechless  
The secrets you've been keeping  
You're running now, 'cause someone's chasing you_

_And you bought a ticket_  
_But you don't know where you're going_  
_And you won't tell me_  
_For fear I'll follow suit_  
_And you're tryin' to save me_  
_From your past of bad decisions_  
_But my decision's always gonna be_  
_To follow you (to follow you)_

_Never gonna stop 'til the clock stops tickin'_  
_Never gonna quit 'til my legs stop kickin'_  
_I will follow you and we'll both go missin'_  
_No I'm never givin' up 'til my heart stops beatin'_  
_Never lettin' go 'til my lungs stop breathing_  
_I will follow you and we'll both go missin'_

_No, I and we don't even know where we're going  
But I'm sitting with you and I'm glowing_

_**~The Script: Glowing**_

-:-

* * *

"_It's been a long time since I've laughed that hard. Oh. It's been more than a long time. Years."_

_**~Dean Winchester, Free to be You and Me**_

-:-

* * *

They stare down guiltily at their shopping cart as they make their way to the checkout counter. This was supposed to have been a simple milk run. They don't know when it escalated.

It starts when John decides that they also needed more Jammie Dodgers. Then, Rose has to go and add some chocolate. And John adds some ice cream into the cart, because one can never have enough ice cream. So Rose gets some marshmallows as well.

After that, before they know it, they are running from aisle to aisle in the department store adding all amounts of unhealthy sweet goodness they can lay their hands on. They whoop and cheer and collide against objects and people and wreak havoc like it's the end of the world and they are a couple of drunk teenagers.

They only just come to their sense and start to make their nearly full cart to the checkout counter when a sugar high Amelia rushes towards them with her arms full of more treats. She stops when she notices the sober looks on Rose and John's faces. They stand there, blinking at each other for a couple of moments before John cracks and with a cry of "Geronimo" runs to get some more biscuits that they don't need.

Another hour later, the lady at the checkout counter takes a moment to look over the strange pair who has three carts of junk food with them and a child seated upon one of the carts like it's her throne. All three of them are giggling uncontrollably and the woman vaguely wonders if she should ask them where their parents are.

It's only after they get back to their flat that they notice that they forgot the milk.

-:-

It almost starts to feel like their normal lives. Only a more domestic version with no time and space travel and no fighting aliens. Well, Rose still fights the aliens, only without the Doctor.

In one such case, she gets hurt in a nasty encounter with some rather unfriendly blue aliens. When she goes back to the flat with her entire arm bandaged, she is expecting the bombardment of questions from John that she receives. She tries her best to keep up with her cover story and to assure him that she's fine and that he doesn't have to worry. He does so anyway and insists that she takes leave from work for the week. He won't have it otherwise so Rose relents, knowing that he would bodily barricade the front door if it comes to that.

He refuses to let her do any work either. In her time without the Doctor, Rose had learnt how to cook, seeing as how she had to live by herself. And now, it was she who had been doing the cooking lately. But with her new wound, John insists on taking over this task as well.

However, omelettes are the only thing that he is good at. Everything else he cooks can hardly be called edible. He enlists Amelia's help after a couple of failed attempts at making dinner but she's no good either. In fact, together they somehow manage to almost burn down the half of the kitchen.

John's very good with the cutting though. And after much assurance from Rose that she's well enough to get out of the bed and that she won't keel over, she stands by him in the kitchen, telling him what to do and how to cook.

He's an incredibly fast learner and his skills with the knife leads Rose to blurt out, "where did you learn how to do that?"

"Paris, in the eighteenth century," he answers immediately. He doesn't notice what he's said.

But Rose does. She's noticed a lot of slip ups like this lately. In fact, just a week ago, he had compared a rather loathsome professor at his University with a Slitheen. And a few days before that, he mentioned having chips after the end of the Earth in a passing comment. He hasn't noticed anything wrong with his words though. And since they have only a few weeks to go until they're safe from the Family, Jack has asked Rose not to fret too much over the Doctor's memories returning. But Rose can't help it. They never found a solid lead on the speculations about the Family having arrived but the feeling of wrongness inside her hasn't relented a bit.

They're here, she knows. They're here and they're close and they want the Doctor.

She lets out an involuntary hiss when John accidentally bumps her injured arm. He sets off into a string of apologies as he guides her to a chair even as she's telling him that she's okay. He squats down by her seat and his fingers hover above the bandage, afraid to touch. His eyes move up to look at her face for any hint of pain. She smiles in reassurance and he lets out the breath that he's been holding but doesn't look away. There's something intense in his green eyes.

She lifts her uninjured hand to lightly stroke his cheek. He leans into her touch, almost like he can't help it. Her fingers glide up to run though his hair and he makes a happy sound at the back of his throat.

"I miss you," she says before she can stop herself. The words are almost inaudible and for a second, she thinks that he hasn't heard her.

He stands up and takes her hand—the one that's been stroking his hair—and pulls her up with him. His arms circle around her, minding her injury. "I'm right here," he says as she leans into his hug. "I'm right here."

"And so am I!"

They jump apart at the sound of Amelia's voice from the doorway.

"You should hang up a sign," she tells them, "Mating in progress. Do not disturb."

John splutters, turning bright red, "I...we...we're not...we're _not_...shut up."

"Right," Amelia says. "Anyway, I'm hungry. Are you done making dinner yet?"

"Oh! Dinner!" John shouts as he jumps towards the stove to salvage the burning food. "No, no, no! Don't do that!"

Rose watches as John dances around the kitchen, trying to find some way to contain the fire that has caught the frying pan and a similar image of him flying around the TRADIS console comes to her mind.

_I'm right here._

-:-

She thinks that she can handle the song in her head. That she can cope with it without going entirely mad. That she can have a few weeks of normal before she can have the Doctor back. But then, one fine day, the doorbell rings and there's a woman with the curliest curly hair and a knowing smile standing there and before Rose can even get a word in, her mind explodes.

She doesn't remember the song ever being so loud. Not even in her dreams. It's screaming and clawing and tearing at her mind; glowing, growing, building, burning.

She falls back, clutching her head, trying not to scream out loud and failing badly. For a moment, she can see everything; all of time and space. And then, there's only blackness.

When she comes to, there's pair of chocolate brown eyes peering at her with concern. She blinks and a face comes to view. Wild, gravity defying hair, long nose, a sprinkle of freckles...

A song comes to mind, not the one that's in constant replay inside her head but a different one. A sad, longing one played by a music sphere reminding her of bananas and burning suns.

"Doctor?" she asks tentatively.

"Hello."

-:-

He has put a temporary block in her head, he explains. It won't last very long though and soon, she'll start burning again. Unless...

"No!" Rose says obstinately.

She has to forget again. But not just this Doctor. Not just his TARDIS. And not just travelling with him. But she has to forget _her_ Doctor, _their_ TARDIS and everything they've had. She has to forget she ever saw the stars, travelled to planets galaxies away, saw the end of the Earth, met Charles Dickens, fought a werewolf; saved civilisations...She has to forget that she's not just an ordinary shop girl. That's she's important and she's capable and she's fantastic and brilliant and absolutely wonderful. She has to forget that she's worth something. She has to forget being as happy. She has to forget being so brave. She has to forget being in love.

"Rose..." the Doctor tries.

"No!" she repeats, stumbling away from him.

"You'll _die, _Rose," the Doctor tells her. "The song will burn though your mind."

"I don't care!" she says in a fit of desperation.

"I can't let you die," he shouts back.

"I've got three week," she protests. That's how long the block he's put in her head will last. "We can figure something out by that time."

The Doctor looks desperate. "There's no other way."

"You don't know that!" Rose says. "There could be. Please."

The Doctor is torn. He doesn't want to do this either. This is _Rose, _for Rassilon's sake! Maybe not his Rose, but Rose nonetheless. And she had travelled with him too. Kept him sane and in line. Kept his nightmares away. Made him smile when he felt like he couldn't.

And she has a Doctor of her own. A Doctor who'd gone without her as he once had and now he'd lose her again.

Three weeks...the same time as when the watch is safe to be opened again. By the time John becomes the Doctor again, Rose will have either died or forgotten him.

"Please," Rose begs.

He stands in silence; conflicted. Before he can form a reply, they hear the front door open.

"Rose?" John calls.

Rose takes the opportunity to hurry out of her bedroom, and away from the Doctor. She needs more time. Just a little more time. There could be some other way to save her life. Maybe she won't hear the song when she goes back to her own world. Or maybe she could figure out a way to safely extract whatever bit of the vortex that still remains inside her. Anything, _anything _other than forgetting.

"Hello," John grins when he sees her. His smile drops immediately though, when he notices the look on her face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she says automatically. "I'm fine."

_I'm always fine_, his words echo back at her. He knows that she's lying and she knows that he knows. But before he can coax the truth out of her, he spots a stranger emerging from the other room. He immediately strikes as suspicious in John's eyes.

"Hello," John smiles, though coldly. "Who might you be?"

The Doctor steals a glance at Rose before smiling back at John. "Doctor Smith," he says. "You must be John."

John nods.

The Doctor hurriedly tells him that Rose fainted that afternoon and River—who'd come looking for John—had called him to check up on Rose.

"Nothing too big to worry about," the Doctor says. "Just a bit of dehydration. My guess is that Miss Tyler's been overworking herself. She'll be fine. Fit as a fiddle as soon as you get some sugar and some fluids in her system. And maybe a banana or two. Definitely a banana or two. Possibly two. Preferably three. Maybe a few more."

When he leaves, John takes a moment to look over Rose. She looks scared and pale. And no matter how many times he asks, she only tells him that she's fine. Everything's fine.

He sighs.

"I'm fine," she repeats.

He pulls her into a tight hug, breathing in her scent of tea and rain.

_No, you're not._

-:-

He's not fine either. And she can tell. But they both keep lying to each other. There was a time when they didn't do that. When after much effort and persistence on her part he'd occasionally tell her his troubles and she'd make it better and he'd take away her fears with a tight hug and a trip to Disneyland Clom.

And then they'd solve the problems of the locals and forget their own and laugh and be happy and hold hands and run and run and run.

There's no travelling to Clom anymore and very little laughing. And she runs, but without him and he only runs when he's late for class. They no longer hold hands either.

Then one day, John decides that he's had enough.

It's Rose birthday and when he wishes her in the morning, there's only a meek nod of recognition. They have scarcely made eye contact for the past few days and this is the last straw for him. As Rose mumbles a muted goodbye and reaches for the front door to leave for work, John saunters forward, grabs her hand and leads her away to her bedroom.

There are loud protests all the way and demands of what he's thinking but he doesn't answer. He reaches into her wardrobe, pulls out one of his favourite dresses on her and hands it to her with a huge grin.

She looks at him incredulously. "What's this?" she asks.

"A dress!" he says. "You're supposed to wear it. See, this is where the hands go and that hole is for the head."

"I'm going to work, John. And I'm not going in a dress." Rose says, reluctantly pulling her hand away from his and folding her arms.

He misses the contact but his smile doesn't falter. "It's your birthday. You can take the day off."

"I've already taken too many days off," she retorts.

"Exactly!" he says. "And one more won't many any drastic differences."

"I can't take the day off!"

"Yes, you can. Here, I'll call Jack." He pulls out her phone from her pockets with the swiftest of movements and begins dialling.

"Stop that," Rose shouts, reaching for the phone but John raises it over his head, leaving Rose to resort to jumping. "I don't want to take the day off."

"Yes, you do."

"I don't!"

The Doctor slinks away from Rose, whooping as the call connects and Jack picks up.

"Hello, Jack. It's John. I'm calling to tell you that I'm taking Rose out today for fun things and she won't make it work because work is not a fun thing. Work is work. And—"

John gets cut off as Rose tackles him and they tumble to the floor. The phone skids off to the side and Rose makes a grab for it.

"He's kidding, Jack," Rose gasps into the phone.

Jack chuckles. "It's okay, Rosie. You can take the day off."

"I don't want to," Rose says.

"Yes, she does," John shouts.

Jack laughs. "Happy birthday, Rose. Take the day off."

Rose stares blankly at her mobile for a second before throwing it at John, meaning to hit him in the head but he dodges and sticks his tongue out.

"Five minutes, Rose Tyler," he says getting up, and dusting his coat. "Get dressed. We're going to do fun things"

-:-

"You're lying," Amelia says as they walk aimlessly through the streets, an ice cream in each of their hands.

"I am not!" John protests.

"Aliens did _not_ discover chocolate," Amelia tells him calmly. "River told me that it was the Aztecs."

John spluttered. "River?! I'll let you know that River Song is an archaeologist and a liar."

"And you're stupid," Amelia sticks her tongue out.

Rose laughs at the indignant look on John face.

"Stop that," he pouts.

Rose laughs harder.

"No, don't do that," John whines. "You're supposed to be on my side."

"I'm not on anybody's side," Rose says diplomatically.

"You can't do that!" John says. "Amelia has River on her side. River has Amelia on her side. I'm all alone. You can't leave me all alone, Rose Tyler. You _have _to be on my side. Especially when I'm taking you out for fun things."

"Walking aimlessly is a fun thing?"

"I'll have you know that walking aimlessly is one of the top most fun things to do in Balhoon right up there with counting freckles and blowing raspberries. Remind me to take you there someday. Lovely place. Nice shops," he says knowingly. "But we could do other fun things if you want. We still have to buy you a gift. What would you like? A dashing bowtie? A flock of sheep? A swishy-wishy coat? A red bicycle? Ooh, or I know, a fez! We could get matching ones."

He doesn't give her time to reply, but instead grabs Rose and Amelia's hands and starts running as fast as their legs can carry them whooping happily about co-ordinating fezzes and bowties.

They dash about like little children, moving from shop to shop, trying to find the perfect gift for Rose. But Rose doesn't really need one. This moment, right now is the best gift she's received in a while. If she concentrates enough, she can pretend that she's in another planet in another world with her Doctor and they're running again to forget their troubles and she isn't dying and he isn't human and they were never apart.

She can pretend that she can sleep in her room in the TARDIS when they go back, that she can laugh about anything and everything with _her _Jack, that she can call her mum before she falls asleep with exhaustion, that she can hear her mum complain about the Doctor and how he hardly brings her home and then she can hear the change in Jackie's tone to an affectionate one as she asks if he's taking care of her and if she's taking care of him and if they're eating well and sleeping well and if they have lots of clean laundry and if they don't they should come over for a nice cuppa and a chat while Jackie takes care of the clothes and fusses over the pair.

She can pretend that she's home.

-:-

"I want to go home," Amelia says when it's dark.

They've been walking all over. Popping by shops, running through the streets, having a go at the swings in every park they come across...they've tasted a dozen different cakes in a dozen different cafes, bought matching fezzes as promised and had a lunch comprising of chips and ice cream.

"'kay," Rose says as she grabs both Amelia and John's hands each and pulls them gently in the direction of their flat. They're all tired but happy. It's been a fun day and they did do a lot of fun things. And they held hands and they ran and they laughed.

And for a moment, everything was alright.

When they get back to their flat, they find Jack and River waiting for them.

"Happy birthday," the duo chorus and Jack moves to hug Rose.

Half an hour later, Rose starts feeling a bit lightheaded from the wine Jack brought for her as a present. Jack, who is currently being beaten to a pulp at the wii by Amelia. John keeps throwing longing looks towards the pair, clearly wanting to play, but with River regaling Rose with one after another of his embarrassing antics at the University, he can't possibly leave them alone. Who knows what damage River might do?

"Shut up," he mumbles as he takes a sip of his wine, only to spit it back into the glass.

"I'd like to see you make me," River retorts. "Rose deserves to know what a catch you are."

"I'm sure she already knows," he groans and Rose giggles, patting his head comfortingly, sharing knowing looks with River.

She likes River, Rose decides. They'd begun talking and had got to know each other a bit better ever since Rose found out that River was a friend of the Doctor's and was looking out for John and also keeping an eye out for Rose's health. River calls or stops by every few days, making sure the song isn't bothering her too much, and providing Rose with news and speculations about the Family's whereabouts.

Rose absently notes that the song (which still plays, although much quietly, in the background) is a little louder than usual whenever River is near and it's back to normal when she's gone.

Rose also remembers having met River in the Library when she'd been travelling with the Doctor from this universe. Melody, she'd called her then. She'd also urged the Doctor to trust her, having seen something then, but she doesn't remember what it was that she'd seen to trust a complete stranger.

But she still trusts River still. Melody.

The song in her head has tells her to.

-:-

"Let's dance," Rose suggests when Jack and River are gone and Amelia has been tucked into bed. She's a bit drunk.

"I don't...I can't...I don't dance," the Doctor stammers.

"Please, please. It's my birthday," Rose pleads. "You said we'd do fun things. Dancing is a fun thing."

John shifts his weight uncomfortably from one foot to another, trying to come up with valid argument. Rose takes his silence for agreement, grinning as she dashes to her room to retrieve her music sphere.

There's a card lying beside the sphere. Rose has never seen it before. There's a comical Barcelonan dog with a party hat in the cover and inside are the words, "_Happy Birthday, Rose Tyler" _written in barely illegible handwriting. In the corner there are two signatures.

_The Doctor and Rose._

Rose smiles and picks up the sphere, running back to John, whom she'd left in the living room. He's still standing there uneasily when she returns but he grins despite everything when he sees her smile.

Rose skips over to the coffee table and places the music sphere there and presses a button at the top so that the song keeps playing even after she's let go of the sphere.

"You'll find your feet at the end of your legs," Rose informs John. "You may care to move them."

He's immediately transported to a time years ago in another universe when he'd only started falling in love with her. He moves to hold her awkwardly, and they move slowly to the music, fumbling and stumbling but she looks happy and he thinks that this isn't so bad.

He likes seeing her happy. He hadn't seen that for a while. He hadn't seen _her_ for a while. An entire year to be more precise. When she was here, probably protecting the Earth, and he, a universe away moping and considering retirement.

He remembers much more now. So much more. Burning planets and burning suns, finding hope, finding her. And losing it all like he always did. Everything always burns away. Even her.

And yet, here she is.

And she's smiling and she's so close.

But for how long? He won't be human soon. He knows that. Has known for a while now. He doesn't want to believe it though. He wants to be human. He wants to be hers. He doesn't want to be alone anymore. Left with only broken memories and a room full of broken things he couldn't fix from the aftermath of losing her.

"Rose?" he brings them to a standstill, while the music still plays in the background. Pink wispy clouds swirl inside the globe with tendrils of blue and green.

"Yeah?" she asks.

_Tell her_, his insides urge him. _Just tell her already._

He takes a deep breath. "I..."

_Tell her._

"Rose—"

He's cut off when she pulls him down by his lapels and presses her lips to his.

He doesn't move for a second. And then his eyes drift close but his brain isn't functioning properly and he doesn't know what to do with his hands. Does he place them on her waist? Her shoulders? Does he cup her face? Wound them through her hair?

He settles for flapping them like a chicken.

A second, and another, and she pulls away.

There's a dazed look on her face. He's sure that his expression beats hers though.

She blinks, bites her lip and her dazedness transforms to uncertainty and she starts to step away but he's having none of that. This time, _he_ pulls her in for another kiss, wrapping his arms firmly around her, holding her as close as he possibly can. She makes a very nice sound at the back of her throat and he tries to hold her closer still, until she can barely breathe. He's running fast out of oxygen too but he doesn't want to break away.

_Tell her_, his pounding heart screams at him when he finally pulls away.

"Rose," he starts again between breaths. She lifts her wide, hazel eyes to his green ones.

_Tell her._

"I..."

_Tell her._

"Rose, I..."

_Tell her._

"I need you," he says and his voice breaks.

She kisses him once more.

"I need you," he says again when they breaks again for breath. It's the closest he can bring himself to say to the real words that he wishes he could express. But they are as true as anything else. He does need her. So very much. She jumped into his life in a whirl of colours and laughter and now she's rooted herself so deep that having to spend a year without her had been agony. He'd been left broken once more as when he had been after the Time War. She had fixed him back when they'd first met and he needs her to do it again. "I need you. I need you. I need you."

He mumbles the words like a prayer over and over into her hair, holding on as tightly as he can to her.

"I need you."

What he means is, _I love you._

-:-

"I love you," she says as the wind whips her hair. There are tears trailing down her cheeks and he wishes that he could reach out and wipe them away but he's just an image. No touch.

He opens his mouth to say the words...to tell her that he loves her too; has always loved her. Ever since he realised how brave and kind and magnificent and beautiful she is. She makes him better and kinder and braver and less lonely. She likes his bowties and makes a good cup of tea and she hugs him when he has nightmares and holds his hand and runs with him. She laughs at his silly jokes and treats the TARDIS like a sister. She puts up with his terrible cooking and enormous ego and bad driving skills. She has the nicest smile and the prettiest eyes. She always knows the right things to say and the right things to do and he needs her.

He needs her desperately.

He doesn't know how he'll cope now that she's a universe away and he's just a projection with mere seconds left. So, he has to tell her he loves her because this is it. This is his last chance and she deserves to know even though he's sure that she already does know.

"Rose Tyler—"

But before he can complete the sentence, he's falling. Down, down, down into a seemingly bottomless pit that's as black the night and silent as a grave. He closes his eyes and braces for impact but it never comes. He finds himself floating among the darkness and a mocking laughter starts in the distance.

"She will die," a voice tells him. "The Valiant Child. Your saviour. She will die in battle and she will be lost to you forever. Just like everything else that's lost to you."

He wakes up, gasping for breath.

In the next room, the pocket watch lying tightly in Rose Tyler's grasp burns bright as she shifts uneasily in her sleep.

-:-

**A/N: No, this is not the final chapter. Yes, I know I promised otherwise. But the plot seems to me controlling me into making it stretch. But really though, the next part will honestly be the last. So, brace yourselves.**

**This chapter was un-beta'd so I apologise if its a bit rusty. I tried my best.**

**My thanks to JollyRoger1, OnyxDay, becksie, Independent.C, Galexz, Palomeke, The Doctor Rose and Valerie E. Mackin for the reviews. And another big thanks to everyone who added this fic to their favourites' list and/or followed this story.**


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